On the HouseRowan House Group

Demo · a fictional restaurant group · nothing here is real · On the House is built by JL Collective · luke@thejlcollective.com

Review Room

Every review you bring in, each one put against the person it names. Nobody is credited until a manager says so.

Reviews, last 7 days

0

the week to Wed, Oct 28, the last day anything came in

Mean rating, that week

—

nothing in that week; the newest here is Tue, Oct 20

Waiting to be counted

6

proposed credits, none of them scoring yet

Worth a look

1

patterns nobody has read yet

Narrow it down

Tripadvisor is not connected — nothing has been read from it, so it shows no reviews rather than zero reviews. No review platform has given us credentials yet; their reviews here arrived as a CSV export. 64 notes came from the group's own feedback form, shown unsigned as “Our own form”.

Waiting to be counted

Each one is a guess about who a review is thanking, with the words it matched on. Confirm it and it counts on the board. Reject it and it never does.

  • google1★Rosalind Achebeexact90% sure

    Two of the four plates came out cold. Rosalind was clearly covering too many tables. the burrata went back once and came out the same. Nobody offered to make it right.

    Matched on “Rosalind”

  • google1★Beckett Lowryalias85% sure

    Two of the four plates came out cold. Beck was clearly covering too many tables. A table of 4 at 8:15 and one server for the whole room. For this money there are ten better options.

    Matched on “Beck”

  • google1★Tobias Lindgrenexact90% sure

    Two of the four plates came out cold. Tobias argued with us about the bill. the steak frites was badly oversalted. Waited past 8:45 with 2 of us at the bar and no update. Management never came by.

    Matched on “Tobias”

  • google1★Oisin Murrayexact95% sure

    Two of the four plates came out cold. Oisin Murray argued with us about the bill. the smash burger was badly oversalted. the smash burger arrived after the plates were cleared. Management never came by.

    Matched on “Oisin Murray”

  • google1★Margarethe Vogelexact90% sure

    Our table was seated and then forgotten. Margarethe was clearly covering too many tables. For 4 people at 6:15 it was the wrong night to come. For this money there are ten better options.

    Matched on “Margarethe”

  • google1★Anders Lindqvistfuzzy55% sure

    Disappointing, and we had been looking forward to it for weeks. Our server, Andres, never came back to check on the food. the caviar course came out lukewarm. the caviar course came out cold at 7:45. For this money there are ten better options.

    Matched on “Andres” (alias for Anders)

The staff board

Confirmed credits only. 6 attributions are still waiting to be confirmed and are not counted here. A credit nobody confirmed is a guess, and a guess should never settle who won the month.

Nothing has been confirmed yet. The board fills in as the queue above is worked through.

Worth a look

Patterns in the reviews themselves, put in front of a person to read. None of this is an accusation and none of it touches anyone’s standing. Read the reviews side by side and decide what it is.

  • The same words, more than onceLittle Fernstrength of the signal 45 of 100

    2 reviews posted from 2 different profiles across 2 platforms share near-identical wording (69% average overlap), all within 67 days. Worth reading side by side before contest points are counted.

    Google1★Sat, Aug 22· the one flagged

    Our table was seated and then forgotten. the burrata was badly oversalted. the burrata was underseasoned and nobody asked. We will not be returning.

    Signed Otto Mensah

    Resy2★Wed, Oct 28

    Our table was seated and then forgotten. the cheese cart was underseasoned and nobody asked. We will not be returning.

    Signed Felix L.

    Either way it lands in the record under your name. We report nothing to any platform.

Everything that came in

The 12 newest of 12 reviews in view, all sources together.

Recent reviews across platforms, newest first
WhenWherePlatformStarsWhat they wrote
Tue, Oct 20Rowan HouseGoogle1★A 6:00 seating for 2, and a twenty minute gap between every course after the third. We paid for the reserve pairing and were poured two of the wines out of order. Nobody from the floor acknowledged any of it.Wine36% sure
Sat, Oct 10Little FernGoogle1★Two of the four plates came out cold. Rosalind was clearly covering too many tables. the burrata went back once and came out the same. Nobody offered to make it right.Food temperature95% sure
Wed, Sep 9Little FernGoogle1★It took an hour to get a second drink. We sent the burrata back and nobody followed up. A table of 2 at 6:15 and one server for the whole room. Nobody offered to make it right.Service pace85% sure
Sun, Aug 30The Copper JayGoogle1★Disappointing, and we had been looking forward to it for weeks. the amaro flight went back once and came out the same. For this money there are ten better options.
Sun, Aug 23Little FernGoogle1★Our table was seated and then forgotten. We had to flag Yukie down three separate times. the pot de creme was underseasoned and nobody asked. For this money there are ten better options.Seasoning and flavour90% sureAttentiveness and warmth85% sure
Sat, Aug 22Little FernGoogle1★Our table was seated and then forgotten. the burrata was badly oversalted. the burrata was underseasoned and nobody asked. We will not be returning.Seasoning and flavour98% sure
Wed, Aug 19Rowan HouseGoogle1★Stars only, no words
Sun, Aug 16The Copper JayGoogle1★Two of the four plates came out cold. Beck was clearly covering too many tables. A table of 4 at 8:15 and one server for the whole room. For this money there are ten better options.Food temperature95% sure
Thu, Aug 13Little FernGoogle1★Two of the four plates came out cold. Tobias argued with us about the bill. the steak frites was badly oversalted. Waited past 8:45 with 2 of us at the bar and no update. Management never came by.Food temperature95% sureSeasoning and flavour90% sureService pace85% sure
Fri, Aug 7The Copper JayGoogle1★Two of the four plates came out cold. Oisin Murray argued with us about the bill. the smash burger was badly oversalted. the smash burger arrived after the plates were cleared. Management never came by.Food temperature95% sureSeasoning and flavour90% sureService pace85% sure
Tue, Aug 4Little FernGoogle1★Our table was seated and then forgotten. Margarethe was clearly covering too many tables. For 4 people at 6:15 it was the wrong night to come. For this money there are ten better options.
Thu, Jul 30Rowan HouseGoogle1★Disappointing, and we had been looking forward to it for weeks. Our server, Andres, never came back to check on the food. the caviar course came out lukewarm. the caviar course came out cold at 7:45. For this money there are ten better options.Food temperature98% sureService pace85% sure